...all doctors and nurses and nutritionists and housekeeping staff and internists and residents who have rolled through the room (and at last count we had crested 30 people who have given us some help while we have been here) has tried their best to make us happy and comfortable. The best comments, though, seem to surround the subject of food. I made mention that Madeline's freshly clipped umbilical cord looked and felt like raw squid. In fact, I called it calamari in the operating room. That was the first nurse to openly laugh at my nervous attempts at jokes while I watched people slicing and then sewing my wife up on a brightly lit table.
Since that night, I have heard comparisons of everything I have seen to something that used to be appetizing. I can only offer you a list of the food items and will refrain from offering you the items to which they were compared: mustard (both Dijon and yellow), wet oatmeal, rotten tomatoes, steak (don't even ask), tomato juice, and even Marmite (many of you parents can guess this one). I will tell you one perk of this hospital, though. It has room service. After four days, I found our welcome packet and two coupons for free meals for guests. I just ordered lunch: country fried steak with mushroom gravy. In a hospital. I might not want to be discharged with Kelly, oh and Madeline.
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